the sweet spirit that is you…

When we first met
there was something that struck me
a feeling I could not shake
something about you
held the flame that could thaw my love

It was true
and it came to be
the sweet spirit that is you
against all odds
un-froze my heart

but over time
the darker angel that is my demon
fought to keep my heart on ice
the ongoing battle
damaged our love
destroyed your trust
broke your heart and mine

The demon inside me
has done it’s best
to take all that is good
and right now, without you
I feel that I am barren, bereft and alone

The blessing is that
my heart is still open
giving me hope, a chance to surrender
a chance to heal
you have given me this
I am truly grateful

If our life together
Is the price that must be paid
a chance to truly change
a spiritual awakening
reborn to a new a new life
the cost is so high
I am catching my breath
I can’t breathe
trying to believe
hoping that faith will carry us through

The feelings of regret
the sorrow in my heart
color the lens through which I see the day
I wish you could understand
what you mean to me
my actions have not shown this
I am so sorry
I wish you could understand
the loss I feel
with you gone from my life

I miss you every waking moment
I hope and I pray
we can be together again
down the road
When we have both healed
and become the people that God meant us to be

I am told it will take time
I can’t trust a hope
but I will wait
put my heart on hold
Till there comes a time
that the chance presents itself
to show you
I have become the man
That you believed that I could be

If it was meant to be
It will be
and at our being rejoined
the heavens will open
and my heart will soar
my gratitude
will flow, tears streaming down my cheeks
the joy of laughter
ringing through the air

© Kit Latham

For Misha

North Adams Ma
December 5, 2009